New Microsoft handheld released! PVG has exclusive review and details

I am not quite sure how this escaped the attention of the mainstream gaming press, but Microsoft quietly released a new handheld gaming platform this month. We have been speculating for a long time that the company was considering entering the portable video game market. Last spring, we envisioned a device that could seamlessly take our Live Arcade games with us on the go, and perhaps even connect with the Live service for some additional connectivity features (gamertags, etc.). But later on, Microsoft faked us all out by beginning development on Viva Piñata for the competing Nintendo DS. Not the kind of behavior we would expect from a company that was planning to compete with Nintendo and Sony by releasing their own new product.

Despite the mixed messages, it is now clear that the company has been secretly developing its own handheld system, even while developing games for competitors (thus cleverly concealing their true intentions). We are here to announce that Microsoft handheld is a reality, and best of all, you can go and get your hands on it RIGHT NOW!

Introducing the Microsoft Xbox Portable

The Xbox portable features a vibrant 0.8″ two-color monochrome LCD display and an 8-bit mono speaker. Microsoft has been silent about the processor contained in the device, most likely due to concerns about piracy. The device uses a revolutionary image-on-rom storage system, so there are no disks or cartridges of any kind. Interestingly, because the device is designed to play only one game at a time, users must purchase additional boxes of Kellogg’s Fruit Loops in order to play new games. It is unknown whether Microsoft is planning to add any other multimedia functionality to the device, such as an alarm clock or onboard GPS. Currently the system is only available as a bundle with a box of Kellogg’s Fruit Loops, although we hope that greedy retailers will stop this practice once the hype begins to die down. First adopters who absolutely must have the latest hardware can grab the Xbox portable in a bundle for $4.79. For those who don’t mind waiting, we advise that you hold out for the inevitable post-holiday price drop.

There are currently 8 first-party titles available for the Xbox portable, and Microsoft is still working on attracting more 3rd party developers. With the uncertaintly surrounding the recent Bungie/Microsoft split, we are not sure how this will affect prospects for a handheld Halo sometime in the future. Microsoft is rolling out a number of new franchises on the handheld, perhaps as a testing ground for future Xbox 360 releases. Launch games include Reactor (a space shmup), sports titles Football and Snowboarding, as well as the mysterious Ninja House.

We managed to pick up Car Racing, a new original IP from Microsoft — and take it for a couple of laps around the track. In a word, Car Racing performed flawlessly. The game is quite innovative, eschewing conventional design features like scenery and competitor AI, in order to focus on the pure avoidance aspects of competitive automobile racing. At full speed, your car can easily overtake competitors, and the skill required to avoid them as you leave them in your dust is considerable. At later levels, the opposing racers will even swerve back and forth in a random pattern, demanding all of the player’s skill and intuition to avoid a catastrophic collision. The game is a little bit on the short side, offering a limited amount of replayability, and contains no multiplayer modes to speak of. Skilled racing enthusiasts might be able to breeze through the game in about 3 minutes, but less seasoned players will take about 5 minutes to beat the game.

The graphics in Car Racing are impressive for a handheld title. The black enemy cars are easy to spot on the small screen, and the game contains a number of fancy effects such as crude animation and flashing sprites. Unfortunately, the backgrounds are pre-rendered, and tend to stay fixed in one place for the entire game. The soundtrack is equally impressive, sporting a monotone beeping sound to simulate car engines, and a catchy victory tune that plays when you cross the finish line. Controls are very responsive, particularly the up-down button, which causes enemy cars to fall at a slower or faster rate from the top of the screen. True purists will probably want to add a Logitech steering wheel, however we were not able to find an appropriate USB port for such a device. Hopefully this is just an oversight and Microsoft will be releasing a fix soon.

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